It's not Christmas, the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ, the light of the world and savior of mankind. Christmas is celebrated with the giving of gifts of charity, the celebration of special religious ceremonies, and the traditional gathering of family for midnight mass. You will notice that at no time were a fat guy, flying herbivores, and toy-making fairies present for the Roman census in the desert lands of the Middle East two millennium ago!

Its not Chanukah, (or one of the other 16 ways to spell Hannukkahhhh!) the blessed remembrance of when Yahweh kept the Maccabees lights from burning low. Jewish families gather (for eight days) and light the menorah candles, eat kosher food, and exchange presents. It also leads to the super-fun December game of "I'm sorry, but I'm Jewish - why didn't you say Happy Hanukkah to me you anti-Semitic bastard!"

It's not Kwanzaa, the African American celebration of loyalty, unity, and family values. Celebrated by the festive dressing of the midget, the traditional dinner of chicken-fried wildebeest, and the ritual exchange of footwear. Don't roll your eyes like that - like you have any idea What the Hell is Kwanzaa, anyway...

No! It's Chrischanukkahwanzaamas. All new, all improved, 100% fun Holiday action!

Chrischanukkahwanzaamas is now 50% more holiday than Chanukah (we got 12 days bitches!).

Chrischanukkahwanzaamas is five times more fun to say then Kwanzaa (7 syllables FTW!).

Chrischanukkahwanzaamas kicks the crap out of Christmas - with all of the holiday specials, decorations, and presents - without the nagging suspicion that you need to be standing out in the cold collecting coins with a big red kettle and a bell.

Welcome seekers, you've got a friend in Chrischanukkahwanzaamas!