WILL YOU CALL YOUR MOM...

Hey, do you know what I did last night? http://www.thingsididlastnight.com/

And, We'll keep kickin' the dozens until you get with the program and call your Mom to wish her a Happy Familymas! It's a little guilt powered, but at least its better than a December Existential Crisis.

Call your Mom, already! Wish her a Happy Merry Festive Chrischanukkahwanzaamas. When she says, "What? A Chrischanuuukakakamanzda" - you can laugh, but then have to try and explain it to her.. I've been telling my mom about Chrischanukkahwnazaamas since 2001, and she still can't say it.

The Spirit of Familymas

The Chrischanukkahwanzaamas Pig is a bright and happy pink pig that appears on December the 19th to nag people to call their mom. Since the Chrischanukkahwanzaamas Pig is family oriented (and a bit of a nudge, really) she can often be spotted attending banquets and buffets, and often helps out on Trashmas, Jinglemas, and the other huggable Chrischanukkahwanzaamas days.

Familymas Traditions

Buy a crap load of Chrischanukkahwanzaamas cards* (gotta keep that economy going). Help Aunt Mary wash her cat. Help Cousin Mike battle his inner demons (either in WoW or his head - it doesn't matter, it's the holidays!) If you have the time, or money, a family gathering is appropriate. If you don't have a family, don't worry - find an old folks home and call an Alzheimer's patient Aunt Selma (they appreciate the interest).

*If you don't have any Chrischanukkahwanzaamas cards they are easy to make - just grab a black sharpie and a stack of Christmas, Hannukah, and Kwanzaa cards and supply the missing letters..example: Have a Festive CHRISCHANUKKAHWANZAAMAS! (you just need to write in CHRISCHANUK before and MAS after the KWANZAA). It's better than a bail-out for those struggling retailers (and you canget cards cheap cause you can buy the crappy ones since you're going to be defacing them with Magic Marker anyway).